My hippy little heart.

Last week I pondered how books had impacted my life and wound up going a little further back than I had anticipated in my library of life. This week I am going to continue in the book vein since the Gratitude challenge topic is "Being Married" and I already did blog a while back when the topic was "Spouse" regarding things I was thankful for regarding being single.
If you read my book review on the book The Meaning of Marriage, it wasn't the last book I read in the past year on the topic. Some of the best I have ever read. I grew up in the days of I Kissed Dating Goodbye. (No, not one of the best I ever read). The book took the high school age group by storm and we all threw traditional dating to the side and determined to surrender our love lives to God and wait for "the one".  In some ways for me this saved me heart ache, but in others ways it created it. Some of this had to do with not knowing proper boundaries for "just friends" and...well, long story short, I had my heart broken a few times because I hid my hopes in the ground and tried to ignore my heart.
Anyway, enough about that.
There are two other books that came across my path this previous year. Both I highly recommend. I found Lisa Anderson's Dating Manifesto highly amusing, and relatable. I connected a lot with her experiences in the un-dating world of "friendlationships". Ugh, those are awful. Just say what your intentions are..right?! It would save a lot of wading through murky waters. Risky. Yup.
The other book was The Sacred Search by Gary Thomas.
I feel like I have been having some of my thinking rewired, in the best of ways. Gary Thomas really unpacked the whole idea of "Just one" and caused me to have to evaluate what God's word reflects in this regard, only to be reminded once again of the beauty of the freewill He has given us to choose and how valuable those choices are in our lives.
 I was forced to ask myself some tough questions and reminded to risk and to keep being vulnerable. I have had this weird lie that I believe that if I ever was saying I'd like to get married or that I'd like to meet someone, get to know a specific guy, or anything in that way that some how I was being desperate and discontent. Sorry, but that's a lie I am done believing and I am glad to be away with it. Desperation is compromising on what you value and just settling for anybody even if they are not the best fit.
I'm really thankful for all the experiences I have had and the life I have lived. It doesn't mean I need to stay single forever. So, here is where I am... :) Single, learning to risk so here is to not being single forever.
My other single friends have all had me recommend The Sacred Search to them I think. Hahah. One of my cousin's recommended it to me. I'm so thankful! One of my favorite chapters was this list of different types of marriages, something that I had never really even considered. It opened my eyes to the reality that a lot of marriage conflict comes from two people having entirely different expectations for marriage but then never actually discussing them. My favorite description was "Bohemian buddies"-marked by travel, books, fulfilling vocations(in my heart this means the ability to impact through missions)...tie that with a "Spiritual Soul mate" and yes, that's what I had always thought would be the best, just had never put words to it. I'm not much of a Kids are Us or House and Home person-not that I don't like kids, because I do, and I want to have some-and adopt some....or that I don't want a house, because I do, so I can be hospitable. Those just aren't what I want to center married life around. It was just good for me to realize that it's ok if that isn't my number one priority. Anyway, there you have it..my hippy [unconventional] little heart. Know any awesome single Jesus loving man who might be a bit "bohemian"? :).
Until Next time....