A Book Review

When I was younger I would often read a book in a 24 hour time span-or less. These days it's rare, particularly a book that is not a novel. But, when I got The Meaning of Marriage in the mail, I had a hard time putting it down. 

I highly recommend this book to my single and married friends alike. The author, Timothy Keller, has a refreshing perspective and great insight on the purpose and mission of marriage. He starts out by saying "no two people are entirely compatible" and that we can not possibly marry the "right" person. Why? Because we CHANGE! I loved this quote he mentioned from Stanley Hauerwas "We never know whom we marry; we just think we do." No, he wasn't saying 'so just marry whoever and try to make it work', but rather-be aware that you are committing to a person who will change. 

I heard the message -less stress about meeting 'the one'. Though, personally I do believe that in walking with Jesus there is the BEST, because he is leading. Keller's emphasis is on the importance of friendship for a marriage relationship. "This principle- that your spouse should be capable of becoming your best friend-is a game changer when you address the question of compatibility in a prospective spouse." Reminded me of the conversation I had with my Uncle Joel on the way to the airport the day before I read the book- he said "people don't put enough stock in friendship these days."...and then I was reading this and realizing what he was referring to-yes there is romance and all that, but friendship is what will help you get through the hard times and make the good times great. I also loved this quote "Look for someone who understands you better than you do yourself, who makes you a better person just by being around them." Here's back to praying for a friendship! (I used to, but then got sick of all the friendships that never went anywhere..-vulnerability moment. Yeeps.) 

One other main theme in the book is the power of commitment and the value of covenant. As a culture, on a whole, we do not have a strong understanding of covenant. Keller's insight on the trending belief that marriage is a consumer relationship as opposed to a covenant relationship was something I have recognized but I don't think I have ever pondered. Obviously, if we treat someone as expendable-when something "better" is found a person goes on to the next. Covenant says before the Lord, I am bound to you-regardless. Loved this quote "[Marriage] is a relationship that is more intimate because it is legal." There is freedom in promising-it causes us to rise above our limitations and enables us to trust one another. 

I've never written a book review before, only book reports back in my schools. I just wanted to put this out there as a recommendation. Worth the read!! Five stars...all that goodness. 

I'll end with this quote "To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything. It liberates us from pretense, humbles us out of our self-righteousness and fortifies us from any difficulty life can throw at us."