I like to be comfortable..to a certain degree. It's nice to know what I am doing, where I am going, how to do tasks well, to feel accomplished and..well, to not fail.
My whole life I've had a complex about failing. It's silly really, I think others have more grace on me than I have on myself. So when I learn to do something..I work at getting really really good at it. This makes me efficient, reliable and...somewhat of a perfectionist.
However, because of all this it seems there is also a constant challenge of being asked to shed the skin that I am comfortable in..to molt, so to speak. Ouch. When faced with new things I find myself torn between..well, what about what I am doing now? Who will do it right? And if I say yes to this new role will I fail miserably and never be asked to do the things that I actually love and care about? And how do I know that I won't love doing what I am asked to do...unless I just step out and try?
Uncomfortable...always feels a little odd to be wearing new skin when underneath I know me as me.
"I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength...." Good thing it's not really about me in the end..His grace is sufficient.
Just a little late night rambling from a new creation that sometimes doesn't always grasp what the fully means.
1 comment:
Catching up on my email and found your musings…
It is a sign of maturity to be confident of your own place/function within the Body and be able to point someone to another member of the Body who is gifted/equipped to do the task asked of you when it is outside of your "calling". Paul gives great insight to the reality of the tension between old and new in Gal 2:11 where we find him calling Peter out on the carpet for doing something according to the "old". A few verses later he points us to the reality of the old AND the new in Gal 2:20…
Keep yourself grounded IN Him, continue to follow Him and the old/new tension will work itself out. What may seem to you to be a limitation (your perfectionist nature) is actually a unique gift. It appears to be a limitation when we veiw it according to our old self (insecure etc.) However from the new perespective it is a great asset for administration etc.
Keep yoked with Him, He'll continue to teach you how to be used in the new!
GA
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